Dating just got easier

Is Speed Dating Making a Comeback?

When a New York Times reporter asked me to weigh in for an article on the return of speed dating services, we had a lot to talk about. In an almost post-pandemic dating world, the pent-up demand for dating IRL (in real life versus virtual dating) makes a lot of sense. I call it a hybrid form of dating where you sign up online for an event and show up to see if you have that instant chemistry or not. These days, even with couples meeting online more than doubling in numbers than couples who met through friends, singles need a hybrid dating strategy. Adding in speed dating fits the bill.

In the New York Times story, Is it Time to Try Speed Dating?, I shared these thoughts with the writer, Becky Hughes.

“What’s old is new again,” said Julie Spira, a dating coach who runs a company called Cyber-Dating Expert. She noted that the first documented speed dating event was held at a coffee shop in Beverly Hills in 1998. The host, Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, “was trying to form connections for Jewish singles so they can stay within the tribe,” Ms. Spira said, “and it caught on.”

“If you look at the swiping apps, it’s less than three seconds for a person to decide whether to swipe right or left,” Ms. Spira said. “It’s a millisecond!” After Tinder arrived in 2012, she saw several speed dating companies shut down, including HurryDate and No Waiting Dating. “They got old and stale because dating apps were the new shiny way to meet someone,” she said.

Some of the speed dating companies mentioned in the article include: We Met IRL in New York, formed earlier this year, Ambyr Club catering to the high-end market (with a price tag of about $150), and CWAQ – the acronym for Connect with a Cutie.

The point of online dating and using mobile dating apps such as Match, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, and Tinder is to connect with someone offline instead of sending endless texts to people you’ll never meet. I’m thrilled to see the renewed interest in speed dating services if only to start socializing again after a long lockdown period and welcome these new services and activities.

Bumble Launches Bumble IRL

Continuing with the theme of meeting IRL, Bumble, the dating app where the women make the first move, has been curating in-person events for several years and recently announced Bumble IRL.

On April 28th, you can work up a sweat with other singles as Bumble partnered with SoulCycle in 10 U.S. cities for an evening class. You’re in luck if you live in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Denver, Miami, New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

In May and June, the app will co-host free evening events with TopGolf in nine cities per month, including Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, LA, Miami, New York/New Jersey, and San Jose.

With summer around the corner, getting out and meeting your online crush or signing up for a speed dating event in your city may just be the perfect recipe for romance.

The app will co-host free evening events with TopGolf in nine cities per month, including Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, LA, Miami, New York/New Jersey, and San Jose in May and June.

With summer around the corner, getting out and meeting your online crush or signing up for a speed dating event in your city may be the perfect recipe for romance.

Need a quick coaching call to get ready for your offline or speed date? 

5 Tips to Stand Out During Dating’s Peak Season

Hang on to your digital hats, grab your calendars, and make your mobile phone your new BFF, as the peak season for dating is here.

What is peak dating season? Let me decode the dating season trends for you.

Peak season starts the day after Christmas, December 26th, and runs through Valentine’s Day. 

The busy season for dating begins in the middle of an earlier calendar trend of Cuffing Season, which runs from Autumn through February 14th.

Add in the fact that breakup season, yes, that’s very real, peaked from December 11th – 24th, the two weeks leading up to Christmas, and we now have the perfect trifecta for finding love.

Sound confusing? Not really.

Every year, when the weather cools down, the desire to couple up begins in the Fall. It’s also a time when couples evaluate their relationship health, and if they don’t see the relationship going the distance, they often decide to part ways.

Meanwhile, singles go on a quest to change their relationship statuses to find a New Year’s or a Valentine’s date, after a melancholy holiday, making it the perfect time to get back into the dating game.

Here are my favorite tips to help you join the digital party. 

1. Update Your Dating Profile and Photos

If you want to put your best digital foot forward, it’s time for a digital facelift of last season’s profile, and photos matter. Remember, you’re only as attractive as your least attractive photo, so ditch the bathroom selfie and picture wearing sunglasses and upload six to eight photos to have a greater chance of someone reaching out or responding to you.

Did you get a new puppy? Women love photos of men with their puppies. Post a few shots and let your potential date know the name of your four-legged friend in the captions. If you’ve just returned from a great vacation, post some scenic shots, add captions, and search using the travel keyword.

The good news is you’ll start receiving notifications and comments about your photos, so you can see which ones are the most popular when swapping or rotating pictures. It’s also the perfect opportunity to respond to those who have complimented you.

Still having trouble staying within the character count of your mobile dating profile? Enlist the service of a friend or a dating coach to help you shine and look your best.

2. Look at Your Best Matches.

Dating apps and the use of AI do help create better matches for you, so pay attention to the Best Bees feature in the diamond icon on Bumble or the Highlights on Match. Both apps curate matches based on your profile’s likes, which will help with feeling overwhelmed. Bumble also shows your Best Bees in your Match queue. 

3. Boost Your Profile to Appear at the Top of a Search. 

The good news is that hundreds of millions of singles use dating apps worldwide. The frustrating news is there are too many matches to consider, and I don’t want to see you get overwhelmed during this busy time, so let the algorithms do their magic.

Most apps have a Boost feature, where you will be more visible at the top of a search for 30 to 60 minutes, and many provide a free boost or a spotlight bump monthly. You’ll need to pay for a premium feature or service plan for more Boost opportunities.

My recommendation is to use the Boost or Spotlight features on Sunday or Monday nights between 7 pm and 10 pm. Why? Because a weekend without a date, or one where you’ve had a disappointing date without chemistry, means you should press the restart button for the new week.

4. Don’t Wait. Initiate. 

At the end of your Boost, take a peek at who’s viewed your profile and reach out to start a conversation. Being proactive will help you stand out. So don’t let your matches expire or your profile become hidden due to inactivity.

Dating apps reward users who log on more frequently, so a daily log-on is essential to being found. 

5. Cast a Wider Net and Search in Other Cities. 

Dating apps are location-based and often match you based on geography over compatibility. I say, don’t let distance become a barrier to finding love.

Check out Tinder’s Passport feature, available in Tinder Plus and above, which allows you to search in other cities and helps when you’re planning to travel or have another city you’re interested in relocating to.

On Bumble, you can pay for Travel Mode, and over on OkCupid and Match in the desktop version, you can search in other cities besides the one listed in your profile. 

At the end of the digital day, peak season is here, and it’s time to join the digital party and fill your date cards.

Happy swiping and matching. 

Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Summer starts this week, and at Cyber-Dating Expert HQ, we always see an uptick in new clients looking for love online.

Don’t just take our word for it, as our friends at Match have predicted that Sunday, July 8th will be 20% busier than Valentine’s Day based on 20+ years of data.

If you don’t experience fireworks with someone special on 4th of July, you’ll have an opportunity to find summer love BIG TIME a few days later, and we’re here to help you look your best.

What should you do to get ready for summer fun?

1. Update your existing profile now to get ready with new photos wearing summer apparel.
2. Include some of your favorite summer activities, such as beach barbecues, fly fishing, or hiking.
3. Change your profile to include favorite date ideas, such as going to an outdoor concert, an amusement park, or riding a tandem bicycle.
4. If you have a summer vacation booked, include how excited you are to travel to that destination.
5. Include your favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, as it’s a hint of where you should go on a date that extends into dessert.

There’s something magical about sunshine, beach or lake walks, and finding a summer romance that will last through all of the seasons.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo