When a New York Times reporter asked me to weigh in for an article on the return of speed dating services, we had a lot to talk about. In an almost post-pandemic dating world, the pent-up demand for dating IRL (in real life versus virtual dating) makes a lot of sense. I call it a hybrid form of dating where you sign up online for an event and show up to see if you have that instant chemistry or not. These days, even with couples meeting online more than doubling in numbers than couples who met through friends, singles need a hybrid dating strategy. Adding in speed dating fits the bill.
In the New York Times story, Is it Time to Try Speed Dating?, I shared these thoughts with the writer, Becky Hughes.
“What’s old is new again,” said Julie Spira, a dating coach who runs a company called Cyber-Dating Expert. She noted that the first documented speed dating event was held at a coffee shop in Beverly Hills in 1998. The host, Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, “was trying to form connections for Jewish singles so they can stay within the tribe,” Ms. Spira said, “and it caught on.”
“If you look at the swiping apps, it’s less than three seconds for a person to decide whether to swipe right or left,” Ms. Spira said. “It’s a millisecond!” After Tinder arrived in 2012, she saw several speed dating companies shut down, including HurryDate and No Waiting Dating. “They got old and stale because dating apps were the new shiny way to meet someone,” she said.
Some of the speed dating companies mentioned in the article include: We Met IRL in New York, formed earlier this year, Ambyr Club catering to the high-end market (with a price tag of about $150), and CWAQ – the acronym for Connect with a Cutie.
The point of online dating and using mobile dating apps such as Match, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, and Tinder is to connect with someone offline instead of sending endless texts to people you’ll never meet. I’m thrilled to see the renewed interest in speed dating services if only to start socializing again after a long lockdown period and welcome these new services and activities.
Bumble Launches Bumble IRL
Photo credit: Bumble
Continuing with the theme of meeting IRL, Bumble, the dating app where the women make the first move, has been curating in-person events for several years and recently announced Bumble IRL.
On April 28th, you can work up a sweat with other singles as Bumble partnered with SoulCycle in 10 U.S. cities for an evening class. You’re in luck if you live in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Denver, Miami, New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.
In May and June, the app will co-host free evening events with TopGolf in nine cities per month, including Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, LA, Miami, New York/New Jersey, and San Jose.
With summer around the corner, getting out and meeting your online crush or signing up for a speed dating event in your city may just be the perfect recipe for romance.
The app will co-host free evening events with TopGolf in nine cities per month, including Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, LA, Miami, New York/New Jersey, and San Jose in May and June.
With summer around the corner, getting out and meeting your online crush or signing up for a speed dating event in your city may be the perfect recipe for romance.
Need a quick coaching call to get ready for your offline or speed date?
Hang on to your digital hats, grab your calendars, and make your mobile phone your new BFF, as the peak season for dating is here.
What is peak dating season? Let me decode the dating season trends for you.
Peak season starts the day after Christmas, December 26th, and runs through Valentine’s Day.
The busy season for dating begins in the middle of an earlier calendar trend of Cuffing Season, which runs from Autumn through February 14th.
Add in the fact that breakup season, yes, that’s very real, peaked from December 11th – 24th, the two weeks leading up to Christmas, and we now have the perfect trifecta for finding love.
Sound confusing? Not really.
Every year, when the weather cools down, the desire to couple up begins in the Fall. It’s also a time when couples evaluate their relationship health, and if they don’t see the relationship going the distance, they often decide to part ways.
Meanwhile, singles go on a quest to change their relationship statuses to find a New Year’s or a Valentine’s date, after a melancholy holiday, making it the perfect time to get back into the dating game.
Here are my favorite tips to help you join the digital party.
1. Update Your Dating Profile and Photos
If you want to put your best digital foot forward, it’s time for a digital facelift of last season’s profile, and photos matter. Remember, you’re only as attractive as your least attractive photo, so ditch the bathroom selfie and picture wearing sunglasses and upload six to eight photos to have a greater chance of someone reaching out or responding to you.
Did you get a new puppy? Women love photos of men with their puppies. Post a few shots and let your potential date know the name of your four-legged friend in the captions. If you’ve just returned from a great vacation, post some scenic shots, add captions, and search using the travel keyword.
The good news is you’ll start receiving notifications and comments about your photos, so you can see which ones are the most popular when swapping or rotating pictures. It’s also the perfect opportunity to respond to those who have complimented you.
Still having trouble staying within the character count of your mobile dating profile? Enlist the service of a friend or a dating coach to help you shine and look your best.
2. Look at Your Best Matches.
Dating apps and the use of AI do help create better matches for you, so pay attention to the Best Bees feature in the diamond icon on Bumble or the Highlights on Match. Both apps curate matches based on your profile’s likes, which will help with feeling overwhelmed. Bumble also shows your Best Bees in your Match queue.
3. Boost Your Profile to Appear at the Top of a Search.
The good news is that hundreds of millions of singles use dating apps worldwide. The frustrating news is there are too many matches to consider, and I don’t want to see you get overwhelmed during this busy time, so let the algorithms do their magic.
Most apps have a Boost feature, where you will be more visible at the top of a search for 30 to 60 minutes, and many provide a free boost or a spotlight bump monthly. You’ll need to pay for a premium feature or service plan for more Boost opportunities.
My recommendation is to use the Boost or Spotlight features on Sunday or Monday nights between 7 pm and 10 pm. Why? Because a weekend without a date, or one where you’ve had a disappointing date without chemistry, means you should press the restart button for the new week.
4. Don’t Wait. Initiate.
At the end of your Boost, take a peek at who’s viewed your profile and reach out to start a conversation. Being proactive will help you stand out. So don’t let your matches expire or your profile become hidden due to inactivity.
Dating apps reward users who log on more frequently, so a daily log-on is essential to being found.
5. Cast a Wider Net and Search in Other Cities.
Dating apps are location-based and often match you based on geography over compatibility. I say, don’t let distance become a barrier to finding love.
Check out Tinder’s Passport feature, available in Tinder Plus and above, which allows you to search in other cities and helps when you’re planning to travel or have another city you’re interested in relocating to.
On Bumble, you can pay for Travel Mode, and over on OkCupid and Match in the desktop version, you can search in other cities besides the one listed in your profile.
At the end of the digital day, peak season is here, and it’s time to join the digital party and fill your date cards.
These days, meeting someone online for drinks doesn’t always equate to going on a romantic date. Add in to the equation that many singles tend to go out in groups, so defining dating has become complicated.
Unless you’ve met someone on a dating app, and you’ve stated that you’re looking for a long-term relationship, meeting someone you like or have a crush on for drinks could mean a several things.
From getting together to hang out casually to, expanding your social network or even to talking shop if you met this person in the course of business, unless they lean in for a kiss, you might be in the friend zone, for now.
With all of these possibilities, it might be baffling to know in advance if you’ll be on the same romantic page as the person you’re meeting for happy hour during the week.
Ramp Up Your Flirting Skills
To know for sure if you’re on a date, notice if there are visible signs of flirting. This could be in the form of sending regular text messages, possibly with a flirt emoticon, letting you know they’re single, and watching their body language to see if they smile when they see you.
Since first dates need to be in a low-pressure environment, I always advise going on a date to expand your social network and also to see if there’s any chemistry. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone you’ve got a crush on, only to find out they have a live-in partner they never mentioned before.
If you’re female, and you’re hoping your upcoming get together will be a romantic evening, make sure you dress up for the occasion. That means to change your outfit from work-mode to something a little flirtier such as a little black dress with a jacket and boots, add a little lipstick, and you’re ready to go.
Be Interested in Your Date
Remember to listen more than talk to find out more about the person you’re meeting for drinks.
Watch for their body language when you arrive. Are you greeted with a hug and a smile, or a handshake with your chair pulled out for you.
Try to limit your alcoholic intake to one drink, and at the end of the date, see if they’d like to get together again. If the person you’re meeting picks up the tab, that’s code for being on an official date, and a great sign if you feel the same.
If they suggest splitting the bill, know that you’re in the friend zone, and be okay with it. You never know if this person has a friend they could introduce you to, so be an exciting date, regardless of the label.
Follow Up When You’re Still Aglow
If you had a great time on your date, send a text the same evening to thank your date for getting together, and to let them know you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again.
Don’t play the waiting game, because the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.
It’s time to put on the digital DJ hat again, and just in time for Valentine’s, Spotify has a created a playlist called Valentine’s Day Love. Complete with the Top 100 most romantic love songs of all time, let this become the soundtrack to your most romantic Valentine’s Day yet.
While you might not recognize all 100 songs, here are the Top 20 for your listening pleasure.
Can’t Help Falling in Love – Elvis Presley
L-O-V-E – Nat King Cole
Lover – Taylor Swift
Yellow – Cold Play
Die With a Smile – Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars
Make You Feel My Love – Adele
Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls
Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars
Perfect – Ed Sheeran
Fall Into Me – Forest Blakk
Dandelions – Ruth B.
At Last – Etta James
Here With Me – d4vd
Endless Love – Luther Vandros, Mariah Carey
All of Me – John Legend
Love on Top – Beyoncé
Sure Thing – Miguel
Love on the Brain – Rhianna
Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
Always Remember Us This Way – Lady Gaga
Do you have a favorite love song? Listen to all 100 here。
It’s time to cast a wide net, as geography, zip codes, and country codes are no longer barriers to finding love. Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are on the rise, and we can thank technology for keeping the romance alive.
Approximately 14 million couples in the U.S. are in an LDR, and dating apps like Tinder, with their Passport feature and Bumble with Travel Mode enabled, help you search for love before and during a trip out of town or to another country.
More singles are open to starting an LDR. A survey from Dating.com showed that 83% of American singles have dated someone from another state, and 71% have experienced long-distance love with someone who lived in another country.
If you and your long-distance sweetheart can’t be in each other’s arms this Valentine’s Day, here’s your checklist on how to make that day and weekend special for both of you.
1. Special Delivery
When in doubt, send flowers. Nothing will make them smile more than receiving a floral arrangement. To sweeten the day, add a special delivery package of hand-selected romantic goodies.
If your partner is a golfer, send a gift certificate for a round of golf at a club they’ve never played in. If they’re skiers, order them a new ski outfit or send a lift ticket.
2. Schedule a Video Dinner Date
When you’re in a long-distance relationship and can’t be with your one-and-only cheek-to-cheek, here’s the next best solution.
Schedule a video date on Facetime, Zoom, or Google Meet, and ditch your comfy sweats to dress up for the occasion.
Head to the kitchen, whip up a fun meal, and have dinner together with your webcam on a tripod or stand. Ladies, make sure to wear red, the color of love, and pucker up with some shiny lip gloss.
If you did receive flowers from your partner, place them next to you so they can see what was delivered and ordered. Swap recipes in advance, and let one of you be responsible for the appetizers while the other decides on the main course.
At the end of the date, remember to have a romantic dessert. Think chocolate or chocolate-covered strawberries, as they’re the ultimate aphrodisiac. I guarantee you’ll both fall asleep with smiles on your faces.
3. Send a Playlist Mix
Music and romance are a winning combination. One way to show you care is to take the time from your busy day to create a music list and send it electronically to your date.
Are you stumped for romantic songs? A Spotify playlist called “Valentine’s Love” includes 100 romantic love songs to help you and your partner swoon. The #1 song on the list is Elvis Presley’s, I Can’t Help Falling in Love, followed by L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole, and Lover by Taylor Swift. When you send your Valentine a custom-made playlist, they will think of you whenever they listen. Consider it a gift without an expiration date between the times you see each other IRL.
4. Remember to Put a Stamp on It
Write a love letter and mail it to your long-distance love in a snail mail. Your Valentine will have a permanent keepsake, and there’s something uber-romantic about a hand-written card delivered to your mailbox. Call me old-fashioned, but love letters will never go out of style. Run out of time? Send a digital card. Jib Jab has some cute ones; remember to add your personal sentiments.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. There’s no limit to how often you should let your S.O. know you love them. Should you text or call? I say you do both. Send a text early enough to wake them up in the morning. Follow it up with a call or voicemail, wishing them a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Then, it’s off to your scheduled video date in the evening.
6. Have a Movie Marathon
Watching a rom-com in each other’s arms can give you that warm, fuzzy, connected feeling. But what happens when you’re in an LDR? I say keep that movie night on the calendar. Pick a romantic comedy to watch together while apart. Grab some snacks and enjoy a movie date together.
There’s no need to fret if you’d rather binge-watch your favorite TV series. Netflix has released a survey showing your love and affection as you binge-watch together.
Nothing screams TLC better when you’re far away than sending your Valentine a care package in advance. What should you include? Anything romantic. Candles, lingerie, chocolate, music, a hand-written love note, framed photos of the two of you, or something you know will make them smile. Remember to send it in advance or splurge for a 2-day delivery.
Valentine’s is on a Friday this year, and it’s a three-day weekend, with President’s Day on February 17th. While regular USPS mail won’t be delivered on Sunday or Monday, USPS Priority Mail Express does deliver packages 365 days a year. You’ll have four days to celebrate Valentine’s weekend with your long-distance love..
Long-distance relationships can be very romantic with the extra effort made. If all else fails, you can always plan a surprise visit. It doesn’t get much better than that.
With the popularity of The Golden Bachelorette and The Later Daters on Netflix, produced by Michelle Obama, which follows six singles 50+ on their quest to find love, all eyes are on the boomer-aged singles.
As we head into the New Year filled with resolution and hope, I’m excited to share that my dating advice is featured in Northern Virginia magazine. In the article “Second Time Around,” Seniors and dating experts share tips on finding love in your golden years,” I shared seven tips for singles over 50.
Let’s Get Started
TIP 1: Let the world know you’re ready to date.
Start by asking your friends and family if they know someone special to introduce you to. Look within your local community to meet new people. Consider taking a class at a senior center or a community college, joining a book club, or volunteering at a non-profile or a museum.
TIP 2: You need both an online and offline strategy.
Getting back into the dating game at any age is challenging, but it’s easier now to find someone 50+ with the massive popularity of online dating. Plus, did you know twice as many couples meet online than through friends? It’s time to create an irresistible dating profile to attract your perfect match.
TIP 3: Write down your dating intentions.
It’s essential to know the type of relationship you’re looking for.
Being specific about your dating intentions and knowing your end goal before you start your search, will help you find compatible matches. Realize that some singles want to go on an abundance of dates to meet new people, while others know they’re looking for a committed relationship with one partner.
It’s easy to determine, by noting your potential date’s relationship goals in their profile. Or take the to discuss the type of relationship you desire with your date when you think you’ve made a connection to make sure you’re on the same page.
TIP 4: Discuss your dating plan with family.
By now, you and those you hope to attract might have an extended family, including children and grandchildren. Before you start dating again, discuss your desire to partner with your family for them to get on board with your plan.
Once you meet someone especial, ask them about the importance of time they spend with their family before you start blending. Does one person spend every Sunday with their grandchildren? Are they from a split family and only get to see them every other weekend, or do they live out of town?
Understand that bringing someone new into your family mix can wait until you mutually decide to become exclusive to avoid confusion and revolving doors with family members.
Once you’ve got a steady date, it’s time to have conversations to ensure you’re on the same page, which brings us to Tip #5.
TIP5: Confirm your relationship type with your partner.
When looking for love a second or third time around, you’ve learned a lot of lessons from your past. Knowing that you’re embarking on a new (and possibly last) chapter with a partner, it’s time to ask some key questions for compatibility.
From deciding on relationship labels (boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, significant other) to monogamy or non-monogamy, marriage or life partner, you shouldn’t play a guessing game or walk on eggshells in your new relationship.
TIP 6: Let’s talk about money.
Being fiscally responsible and having a good credit score is the new sexy. But when should you have the money talk? While it might not sound romantic, it’s responsible, and essential.
Some questions to discuss with your partner include, Will you be combining finances or keeping them separate? Who will pay for vacations, entertainment, and dates? Is one person a saver, while the other is a spender? Money and finances can make or break a relationship so I recommend asking these questions to ensure a healthy romantic journey.
TIP 7:To relocate, or not to relocate.
Long-distance dating has become more popular, in part, due to the growth of online dating. I always says, “Don’t Get Hung up on Zip Codes,” when you start dating again. Many singles will move for love, and often with thanks to technology, people can work remotely.
Ask your partner if their goal is to live under the same roof or if they prefer to maintain two separate households.
As you recall, in TheGolden Bachelor, Theresa Nist and Gerry Turner could not agree on where to live, and this issue was a critical factor in the demise of their short-lived marriage.
However, with several hundred million singles dating online worldwide, zip codes and distance are not barriers to finding love.
Finally, Don’t give up.
If you forge a relationship that runs its course after six to 12 weeks, don’t panic. Love doesn’t have an expiration date, and everyone deserves a second or third chance to find someone special.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.
Jumpstart Your Love Life This Spring with Personalized Coaching from America’s Top Online Dating Expert.
Los Angeles, CA —March 19, 2025
This spring, America’s leading online dating expert, Julie Spira, is redefining digital dating with the launch of CDE Dating – Powered by Cyber-Dating Expert. This exciting rebrand coincides with the introduction of the Digital Matchmaker Elite Experience, an exclusive and immersive all-day private Dating BootCamp designed for singles to fast-track their love lives.
With over three decades of experience, Spira has guided countless singles through the evolving world of online romance. From the early days of dial-up connections to today’s swipe-driven mobile apps, her expertise has positioned her as a pioneer in the online dating industry.
As part of the CDE Dating rebrand, Spira expands her Digital Matchmaker® programs by introducing the Digital Matchmaker Elite Experience for singles to take their dating lives to the next level.
The CDE Dating Digital Matchmaker® Elite Experience
The Digital Matchmaker Elite Dating BootCamp Includes:
Immersive One-on-One Coaching: A full day of tailored guidance in your hometown.
Comprehensive Dating Makeover: Spend a full day with Julie Spira in your hometown, receiving an optimized standout dating profile, wardrobe styling, and a professional photo shoot, leaving you with a polished dating presence.
Mock Date & Real-Time Feedback: Gain confidence as we visit your favorite dining spot, where you’ll receive expert feedback to elevate your in-person dating skills.
Customized Digital Matchmaking: A Digital Matchmaker® custom search designed to connect you with high-quality potential matches.
Ongoing Support: Three months of continued coaching, covering flirting techniques, confidence-building, messaging strategies, and navigating the path from match to a meaningful relationship.
Julie Spira Shares her Vision:
“My passion lies in studying the intersection of love and technology, guiding singles to safely navigate the evolving digital dating landscape to find their perfect match. As AI advances and online dating app usage grows and evolves, understanding is essential to creating personalized matching programs that deliver real results.”
Julie Spira’s Top Ten Milestones in Online Dating Innovation
1. Mobile Dating Pioneer: Launched the first-ever Mobile Dating BootCamp in 2012, before Tinder revolutionized the dating scene.
2. Media Recognition: Featured on Today Show, Good Morning America, and Access Hollywood Live as a leading authority on modern dating and safety.
3. Industry Trailblazer: First female dating coach to guide singles from dial-up matching to today’s mobile dating landscape.
4. Matchmaking Success: Hundreds of happy couples and marriages with her expert advice.
5. National Media Presence: A widely sought-after dating expert featured on ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC, and other top networks.
6. Profile Enhancement Workshops: Created the Pimp Your Profile seminar series for JDate, helping singles make a memorable first impression.
7. Documentary Feature: Online dating expert in VICE Media’s The Mobile Love Industry.
8. Politics and Dating Insights: Pioneered discussions on how political views impact modern relationships.
9. Three Decades of Experience: Established as a leading voice in online dating since its commercial inception.
10. Continuous Innovation: Launching CDE Dating and the Digital Matchmaker® Elite Experience coaching program to transform online dating coaching.
ABOUT JULIE SPIRA
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, a certified, award-winning dating and relationship coach, and internationally acclaimed bestselling author. A pioneer and trailblazer in the online and digital dating world, Julie has dedicated over three decades to helping singles of all ages find meaningful connections. A pioneer and trailblazer in the online and digital dating world, Julie has dedicated over three decades to helping singles of all ages find meaningful connections.
With a passion for the intersection of technology and romance, she coaches clients worldwide, from New York to San Francisco, and London to Sydney. Her expert advice is featured on top dating platforms, including Bumble, eHarmony, JDate, JWed, Match, OurTime, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Zoosk. Julie believes love knows no boundaries, whether age, zip codes, or country codes, making her a highly sought-after celebrity dating coach across the globe.
Dating Sunday, the most active date of the year for dating app use, is here.
January is the busiest month, with millions of singles listing “fall in love,” on their resolutions list. If you want to put your best digital foot forward in 2025, follow these three steps to help you on your romantic journey.
First, let’s start with what I call pre-date preparation
Next, we’ll work on your dating profile.
Finally, you’ll be ready to match, chat, and meet.
Let’s dig deeper by category.
Pre-Date Preparation
DO: Start by Taking a Personal Inventory of Your Love Life
Try this exercise: Make a list of your past meaningful relationships. Do you notice the patterns? What worked for your best relationships, and what didn’t work with your failed relationships?
DON’T: List Unrealistic Expectations
Do you remember the summer song that went viral, “Looking for a Man in Finance?” Let’s break down the lyrics and explain why they’re unrealistic and only exist in the top 1% of men in the United States.
Finance: This has now replaced Doctors or Lawyers as a top attractive field.
Trust Fund: Only 1.3% of men in the U.S. inherited a trust fund.
6’5″: Only 1% of men in the U.S. are 6’4″ or taller, with 5’9″ being the average height for men.
Blue eyes: Most men have brown eyes, with blue eyes ranking as #2, so this is the most realistic trait on the list.
DO: Make a List of the Traits You’re Looking For
A Bumble survey showed 72% of singles are now looking to find a long-term partner in 2025, and that’s a good thing.
Next, it’s time to work on your dating profile.
Do: Start with a Digital Facelift of Your Dating App Profile
Consider last year’s profile passé. Fashion and hairstyles change, and so should your photos and bio. Ladies: Wear red in your primary photo, and men: Wear blue to increase your matches.
DON’T: Post Old or Blurry Photos
Old photos send the message that you’re not serious. Post holiday pics with your award-wining smile or your latest vacation shots to start a convo.
DO: Utilize the “Best Photo” or “Smart Photo” Features on Dating Apps
Let AI and algorithms do their digital magic. Consider it a handy cheat sheet for finding your best primary photo.
DON’T: Post Party Photos if You’re Seeking a Serious Relationship
Your date shouldn’t have to play guessing games on who will show up at a date. The party girl or guy doesn’t get the serious-minded match.
DO: Use use ALL of the Digital Real Estate on Your Profile
Fill in all the prompts or icebreakers to show you’re serious about the process. Utilize all of the available word count on your profile.
DON’T: Use Clichés or Be Vague
Too many singles complain to me that all the profiles look alike. For example, “I love to travel and take beach walks” is overused. Instead, list your favorite hiking trails or dream vacation spots to make it easier for a match to write to you, and even schedule a specific date.
DO: Utilize Keywords in Your Profile
Tinder’s Year in Swipe trend list showed that “pickleball” is the fastest-growing keyword at a (148%) increase. Other popular keywords include “hot yoga” and “pilates” for health and wellness.
DO: State Your Dating Intention
Tinder’s Year in Swipe also said that “Situationships” are out, and “Intentional Dating” is in. Return to your personal inventory list and state your dating intention and goals: Casual, LTR, or Marriage/Children.
DO: Verify Your Profile
A verified checkmark on apps like Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder will help you and your matches feel safe and ensure you’re not a bot or a fake profile. You’ll verify your profile by taking a selfie that will be approved by the dating app.
Finally, It’s time to match, chat, and meet.
DO: Be Selective on Who to Swipe or Match With
Dig deeper past your match’s primary photo and age, then reach out with a captivating message complimenting something in their profile.
DON’T: Swipe Right on Every Profile
Dating is a numbers game, but continuously swiping could result in dating app burnout or swipe fatigue. Apps like The League and Hinge limit the number of daily matches so that you can focus on a few matches.
Let’s review your original personal inventory list again.
DO: Turn on Push Notifications and Respond to Messages Promptly
I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” You should strike when the iron is hot, and your match is fixated on their mobile phone.
DON’T: Play Hard to Get or the Waiting Game
It’s time to toss away the old dating rules. Too many singles get disappointed when they receive a message from their crush they were waiting to respond to notifying them that they met someone and decided to be exclusive to see where the relationship goes, and ouch, that stings. Don’t let that happen to you, and write back to create a flow.
DO: Match/Swipe Right with Singles Who AREN’T Your Type
Try dating outside your comfort zone. The results are dramatic with engagements, marriages, and long-term relationships with couples who date someone different from those they dated before.
DO: Plan to Meet In Person or On Video Chat Within a Few Days to a Week
You should meet with a match when they’re still new and fresh–the sooner, the better.
DON’T: Turn Into a Digital PenPal or End Up in the Friend Zone
Endless texts can start to fizzle if you’re not meeting in person. If you want friendship, stick with a social app like Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok.
DO: Use the App’s Safety Features
Match has a popup that says, “Are you sure?” to alert you before sending a message that could be offensive. Apps have a dating safety section along with pop ups to remind you to date safely with tips. Remember to meet in a public place, don’t schedule late night dates, and watch your alcoholic intake (limit to one drink).
Remember: New singles are joining dating apps every day, and someone is hoping to meet someone just like you. Happy swiping and matching.
Contact us if you need a little hand-holding to speed up your search.
At Cyber-Dating Expert, we care about your safety. Safety goes beyond just meeting in a public place and having your own transportation.
Dating online should be an experience for you to grow personally, but also be a platform and environment for singles to feel safe.
With the serious concerns of the Coronavirus pandemic, most conferences and vacations are canceled or moved online, and just about every store is sold-out of hand-sanitizers.
I’ve been asked if meeting new dates should also be on hold.
Should you stop swiping and chatting on dating apps?
Do you really want to go to a public place with a stranger who might be sneezing into their meal? (No)
If you’re swiping on Tinder, chances are you’ll see this pop up notice with safety tips, along with a link to the World Health Organization’s website.
Tinder recommends the following to their subscribers:
Wash your hands frequently
Carry hand sanitizer
Avoid touching your face
Maintain social distance in public gatherings
As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to spread, awareness is vital, and plans do tend to change. Social distancing is the new sexy, and flirting in video chats are the new normal.
Here’s How to Keep the Spark Alive
As it relates to matters of the heart, if you’re already coupled up, you might want to stay home and self-isolate with your date and binge watch a few shows. For those who haven’t met yet, I recommend using video chat instead of canceling a date.
In an article in the March 5th edition of the Wall Street Journal, Rachel Wolfe interviewed me, along with dating apps and some users, about the trend of going on a video date before meeting in person.
A new Google Crome extension called Netflix Party will allow you and your date to simultaneously stream the same shows together, with a chat comment feature and the ability to click the pause button.
Since I’m a technology enthusiast, I think using Facetime for a date, or in app video or phone features found on Bumble, Grindr, and Match and other dating apps to keep the digital spark alive.
And if you do have the common cold, do yourself and everyone else a favor, and stay home.
Since just about every store is out-of-stock of hand sanitizers, or people are selling bottles of it at outrageous prices, you can create a make-shift one at home using vodka or alcohol.
Remember, we need to make good decisions about everyday life, especially when meeting someone new, and the coronavirus is a reminder to take precautions to protect your health.
A picture says 1000 words, and in my expert opinion, you’re only as attractive as your least attractive dating profile photo. If your profile hasn’t been updated in a year or more, and your message box is on the empty side, it’s time for a digital facelift to add a sparkle to your profile with the goal of more matches, conversations, and dates.
With that in mind, and after my viewing and selecting thousands and thousands of dating profile photos over three decades, when it comes to picking the best photos to upload to your dating app profile, you’ll need to select the pictures that show you at your best with a variety of looks and styles.
That means you need to instantly ditch the overly filtered pics, photos wearing sunglasses, and large party shots which can be confusing to a potential match. All of these will make your potential dream date easily swipe left in a digital nano-second.
So, which photos are the best to attract your ideal date? My handy list of seven profile perfect photos should minimize the confusion, and fill your date card to attract your perfect match.
Let’s Get Started…
1. Your Primary Photo
When deciding which photo to post on your dating app, think about love, not lust. A sexy photo showing cleavage for a woman’s profile is guaranteed to get likes and right swipes, but it sends a message that you might end up in the bedroom sooner rather than later.
My advice is a blend of a toned-down version of what you’d see on your Linkedin profile without appearing like you’re appealing to a corporate recruiter, combined with a romantic look gazing into your date’s eyes. How do you accomplish this? It’s as simple as thinking about blowing a kiss to the camera but holding back on that gesture.
In addition, what you wear not only matters but so does the color of your outfit. I’m a fan of wearing red, and research backs it up. According to a study from psychologists at theUniversity of Rochester, the “red effect” showed that men found women wearing the color red more attractive and even spent more money on a date with someone whose photo featured red. Is it time to toss out the little black dress picture on your profile photo? I think so.
Digital Matchmaker Tip:Don’t use AI to generate some Instagram-worthy photos of yourself, leave them on a social media account and off of your dating profile.
2. The Full-Length Body Shot
Many online dating apps provide a field or filter where you describe your body type. Before you get ready to fib and say you’re slim or athletic because you felt that way a decade earlier, know that not every match is looking for a skinny Minnie. A curvy body is a turn-on for many. That’s why your associated photo needs to match your body type closely. If you’ve been on a fitness and diet regime and recently lost weight, mention it in your profile. You might find your date did the same, and can easily find a cheering squad online with potential matches.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: The absence of a full-length body shot always leads people to think you’re hiding something, with many automatically swiping left or clicking the X button on a profilewithout one.
3. The Activity Shot
Both men and women are visual, and when swiping through endless profiles, they desire to be matched with someone who is in shape and takes fitness seriously, or someone who lives a life filled with some type of physical activity outside of work.
I suggest asking a friend to snap a photo of you playing pickleball (which happens to be a top popular keyword singles are searching for), playing tennis or attending a tennis match, hiking on your favorite trail, in a pilates or yoga class, golfing, skiing, snowboarding, archery, or another sport that you’d like to share with a date.
These activity shots show that you take care of both your mind and body and also provides your date with an easy icebreaker to chat about with a first date idea suggestion. Be specific in your bio on which trails you like, how often you play a particular sport, or even state that you’re a beginner and could use a little help.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: Include in your bio if you’re a beginner in a particular sport, and you just might a date who will happily give you lessons.
4. The Hobby Shot
Having a unique hobby shows you’d make an interesting date. Not all leisure and pastimes involve a physical sport cardio workout.
Perhaps you belong to a book club, enjoy reading novels, writing essays, playing the piano or guitar, landscape photography, making pottery, or going to wine tastings or collecting fine wines. Whatever your passion is, add it to your dating profile to add intrigue and interest.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: Whatever you feel enthusiastic about doing in your spare time, add photos to show that unique side of you. In other words, show it, not just say it.
5. Your Favorite Vacation Photos
Nothing is more bonding than sharing photos of a recent or dream vacation. These photos easily spark conversations, where someone can easily ask you when you visited Katmandu or even ask you for travel advice on a spot they’ve always wanted to visit.
Did you go hiking in the Tetons? Someone might say they’ve always wanted to travel to Wyoming and that it’s on their bucket list. Snorklling in the Caymans or Tahiti? Show your beautiful underwater photos and a pic wearing your snorkeling gear.
Just returned from a cruise? Post your photo when you first went onboard the ship, or one along with the Captain at the cocktail party. Other cruise-loving matches will know you’re compatible and might share a vacation they’ve recently returned from and will want to swap stories.
Planning and reminiscing about vacations can easily form a bond. After all, that’s why bucket-lists exist.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: Play a game and ask a question in your profile to trigger a response. It’s a simple as asking, Can you guess where this photo was taken?
6. The Dressy Shot
It may feel like a cliche, but a tuxedo photo or a female photo wearing a cocktail dress is appealing. I wouldn’t recommend stating on your profile that you can go from jeans to black tie, as it’s overused, but again, show it, don’t say it.
Dressy photos typically show you looking your best because everyone primps before a big party, wedding, or cocktail reception where you’ll find cameras galore. As casual as your potential date might be during the daytime, if they have an invite to an upcoming event, you might end up to top of mind and receive an invitation to join them.
You’ll notice this even more around the winter holidays, so if you happen to have a stunning red dress, your odds of receiving photo likes, matches, and conversations will dramatically increase. The late fashion designer Bill Blass had a quote that’s perfect for the occasion. He said, “When in doubt, wear red.” I have to agree, again.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: A dressy photo is not the same as on old prom shot, so leave those pictures in your aging photo albums.
7. The Casual Photo
The polar opposite to the dressy picture is a casual photo, which is appealing to matches.
The casual photo shows your down-to-earth personality and helps matches think you could be the girl next door and not a high-maintenance person, which could result in your date running for the digital hills.
One suggestion is to select an outdoor shot where the lighting is great. A good example is posting an image sitting on a log from a hike, wearing no makeup. Another is a casual jeans and tee shirt photo lounging at home, and thinking about your dream date. These natural photos receive a lot of likes, and even more likes when you’re wearing red.
Digital Matchmaker Tip: Post a black and white photo to create an even more casual look.You can easily convert your colored photo to by using the editing features on your mobile phone.
Honorable Mention – The Puppy Love Shot
There’s a reason they say a dog is man’s best friend. If you truly have a puppy (no kittenfishing allowed), then post a photo with your four-legged friend to attract another pet lover.
Who knows? You might go on a double date with your new match and their pet to the dog park.
By using these 7-8 different photos, and remember to rotate them on your dating app profile, it will show a perfect balance and lead to developing a quicker and more meaningful connection.
At the end of the digital day, you’ll find it refreshing and flattering when your date tells you that you’re more attractive in person than in the photos that drew them to you.
If you need some extra hand-holding, reach out and let us know how we can help.
